Saturday, September 09, 2006

Liberace in love with a chauffeur. Get the hook up (gotta love the name, "Philosophy for Truckers"):

As Scott Thorson, his chauffeur and partner of many years notes in Behind the Candelabra: My Life with Liberace, "God had given him perfect pitch and large, powerful hands... everything but genius."

Looking for that Chauffeur, I found the worst designed page ever on myspace:
Who I'd like to meet:
michael jackson in jail, i'd tease him and slap him and call him freak til he cried, then i'd lift weights, then some big inmate would probably make me his bitch and want me to shave my ass and tattoo tits on my back...on second thought, fuck that, i'd just like to meet Liberace's chauffeur.

it's called Palimony, and I thought is was love:

1982

$$$$ Scott Thorson, Liberace's live-in bodyguard, chauffeur, confidant, and secretary, sues him for $113 Million in palimony.

In a time of specialization, I never thought that there was an occupation such as "relative,"

Scott Thorson

Born: c. 1958

Gender: Male
Ethnicity: White
Sexual orientation: Gay
Occupation: Relative

Nationality: United States
Executive summary: Liberace's young male lover

Boyfriend: Liberace (boyfriend 1976-82)
Slept with: Michael Jackson (according to Thorson's interview with National Enquirer)

Appears in articles:
The National Enquirer, 26-Apr-2004, DETAILS: My Gay Affair with Michael Jackson, BYLINE: Alan Smith and Alan Butterfield (p.20-22)

Author of books:
Behind the Candelabra, My Life With Liberace (May-1988)


Mirrors:

1981 Scott Thorson undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Liberace.

Just can't get enough of The Love Boat. Who's your [wo]man?

Cast:
Captain Merrill Stubing:
Gavin MacLeod
Doctor Adam Bricker:
Bernie Kopell
Bartender Isaac Washington:
Ted Lange
Purser Gopher Smith:
Fred Grandy
Cruise Director Julie McCoy:
Lauren Tewes
Cruise Director Judy McCoy:
Pat Klous
Vicki Stubing:
Jill Whelan
Photographer Ace Evans:
Ted McGinley
Emily Stubing:
Marion Ross

Loveboat Mermaids:
Susie:
Debbie Bartlett
Maria:
Tori Brenno
Sheila:
Macarena Camacho
Jane:
Nanci L. Hammond
Amy:
Teri Hatcher
Patti:
Debra Johnson
Starlight:
Andrea Moen
Mary Beth:
Beth Myatt

For me it was always about the lyrics:

The Love Boat by Paul Williams and Charles Fox - The Love Boat Lyrics

Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
Yes LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
(hey-ah!)

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
It's
LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
It's the Love Boat-ah! It's the Love Boat-ah!

Did I hear Paul Williams?

It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

Andy mentioning so many names in journalism reminded me of two interviews by Charlie Rose. I was surfin' late night TV and there's the main man, the intellectual interviewing none other thanTed Koppel. Charlie looked good, he finally cut that hair. Whenever I saw his show I felt like I was watching reruns from the sixties. And Ted looked good too. Charlie asked him all about his experience in Iraq and what he thought about the security measures the country was taking. The scandal in Guantanamo and human rights were a subject of heavy discussion, and then out of the blue, Charlie, literally cut Koppel off and asked him "and how do you feel now that you are no longer with Nightline?" Koppel immediately responded, "I feel good. Really, I would rather have a decent news show on at that time then another comedy talk show..."

And Charlie said good bye to Ted, and then the editors from Time Magazine (Richard Stengel) and Newsweek (Jon Meacham) came on. They were all gun-ho about news publishing in an emerging global culture, and kept explaining how they were trying to make the most of the noise that people are constantly exposed to in media today, and how they both compete to break important news first. The big thing between the two competing news magazines was when to break the news. Time released its weekly magazine every Wednesday, while Newsweek on Monday. The whole thing was about when and how the news became part of the weekly discourse in pop culture, and how well their particular time of publication worked into the everyday schedules of their readers.

There was a tension between Quality and Quantity, and efficiency, all as good reporting, as good writing, as being worthy of the reader's attention. And at one point one of them said, "well... in terms of who breaks the news first... we will probably break fifty/fifty." Hmmm... Did I hear fi-ty cent?

Journalism is really changing, I guess. Newspapers, today, are struggling to keep their circulation going. RSS feeds are killing them. I'm hooked to at least 40 different newspapers, I mean, can't beat the efficiency of the feed. Get the headline, get the feed, look through it, get the news, get the fix. It's like a... fix. Quick, fast, back for more. Maybe drug addiction as an ideology has moved on to those hooked online. Hooked hooked. There are all types. Start with e-mail addiction:

The response to my column last week on email addiction was immediate and overwhelming. Dozens of readers from all over the world responded to tell me that they, too, are addicted.

Readers in Australia, Malaysia, the Netherlands, Spain, the U.K., and the U.S. -- from brand-name e-marketing companies to solo practitioners -- seemed relieved to say, "Yes, I'm addicted to email!"

I mean, they call it "emailholism..."

But why give a long list of the smaller addictions when they can be comprised as one:

• Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) is characterized by seven basic diagnostic criteria, among them increasing tolerance of long online hours, withdrawal, and unsuccessful efforts to control Internet use.
Ferris, Jennifer R. Internet Addiction Disorders: Causes, Symptoms, and Consequences. http://www.chem.vt.edu/
chem-dept/dessy/
honors/papers/
ferris.html
• A definition of Internet Behavior Dependence, a form of Internet addiction, is proposed by the authors, who are affiliated with the University of Iowa. Hall and Parsons believe that IBD is a correctable, benign condition, and "compensate[s] for a lack of satisfaction in other areas of life."
Hall, Alex S., and Jeffrey Parsons. "Internet Addiction: College Student Case Study Using Best Practices in Cognitive Behavior Therapy." Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 23.4 (October 2001): 312-327.
• Some mental health professionals recognize Internet addiction as a disorder, and are treating it as “a dependency that can be as destructive as alcoholism and drug addiction.” The article lists fifteen signs of Internet/computer addiction, as developed by Internet/Computer Addiction Services in Redmond, Washington.
Kershaw, S. "Hooked on the Web: Help Is on the Way." The New York Times (December 1, 2005): 1.
• Alcoholics Anonymous is considering setting up a separate division of their organization to work with people addicted to browsing the Internet.
Press Release.
• Internet addiction can have a devastating impact on peoples' lives. Help has finally come from The Center for On-Line Addiction (COLA), which offers counseling, consulting and training to help conquer this often unrecognized disorder. COLA was founded by Dr. Kimberly S. Young, Clinical Psychologist and Assistant Professor of Psychology at the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford. Resources at the site include online counseling, articles, FAQs, and self-help tests.
Center for On-Line Addiction (COLA)
http://www.netaddiction.com/

It even has its own website:
http://www.netaddiction.com/

Hook it up.

Must love The Love Boat. At some point I started to think of appropriation in porn movies, you know how they take successful popular stories and turn them into porn features; I wondered if there was ever a porn flick made, spoofing The Love Boat. I heard that there was a porn of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Here's an unexpected twist of Snow white's story and feminism(?), (might be a sales pitch to some degree by the director):

The Taipei Times profiles Japanese filmmaker Hamano Sachi, who worked in the porn film industry for thirty years before branching out into non-porn feature films. She was one of the few women directors in the Japanese porn industry. "I love making movies, which was the reason why I started with porn films. In 1966, porn was younger and more flexible and women were accepted in the industry. The feature film industry back then strictly excluded women." Two of Hamano's films are playing at the Women Makes Waves film festival in Taiwan this week. Her film Lily Festival is described here as "a witty and humorous story depicting eroticism in a senior citizen's apartment. When a honey-tongued geriatric Romeo moves into a nursing home with seven women, the gender roles of Snow White and the seven dwarfs are suddenly reversed." (Sep 2002)

Here's the Snow White porn flick:

Once upon a time a bad Queen, was pretending to be the most beautiful woman of a kingdom. But her young step-daughter, Snow White was really better.. The rage of the bad Queen became very very hard, so she decided to eliminate the sweet Snow White for ever! The man-hunter who should have to kill the girl, didn't execute the misfit, because the beauty and the innocence of Snow White, touched the heart of the man, so he let's her escape. Running in the woods, she was lucky to find refuge in the house of seven adorable little dwarfs..

Ah, but The Love Boat, is there anything on it..., I mean the name begs to be appropriated by porn...

Nothing right away, but I did find this interesting connection between Batman, the love boat and... porn,

It’s been said that "politics is show business for ugly people," which may be why so many actors turn to politics once they begin to lose their looks. Ronald Reagan, George Murphy, Sonny Bono, that guy who played Gopher on The Love Boat, the list of badly-aging entertainers elected to high public office is long and growing longer every day. And in each case, the urge to go from public figure to public servant only arose after their show business careers began to circle the drain (with the exception of Italian porn star and legislator Ciccolina, who continued to churn out hardcore videos after being elected to Parliament).

It all comes down to Ciccolina,

Using a devastating combination of sex and politics, 54-year-old Cicciolina could be a real cat among the chickens on the Farm.

Cicciolina founded La Liste del Sole (the Sun Party) in 1979 and went on to live a dual life as a dedicated human rights activist and campaigner against nuclear energy, while at the same time becoming one of the most successful European porn stars of the ‘80s. She has even appeared on screen with fellow Farmhand Ron Jeremy.

Her fame was secured in the mid ‘80s when she managed to win a seat in the Italian parliament for the Party Of Love. Policies included the legalisation of brothels, love parks and improved sex education in schools.

This impressive lady is also mum to 13-year-old Ludwig, whom she is really going to miss while she’s away.

She’s looking forward to getting back to nature on the Farm. We don’t know if this means nudity. It probably does.

Wassup with Jackie O.? Hook the lyrics:

J TOP - J... - Jackie O Lyrics - Breakfast At Tiffany's Lyrics

You say we've got nothing in common
No common ground you step on
And we're falling apart

You say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
Still I know you just don't care

Refrain:
And I say, what about breakfast at Tiffany's
You say, I think I remember the film
And as I recall I think we both kinda like it
And I say, well that's the one thing we got

I see you the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
Somewhat now, it's plain to see we're over
And I hated the prisoner in August
So much is left on by

Repeat Refrain (3x)
The one thing we got

but did I hear Jackie O. motherfucka? huh?

no Fucker

(fucker)The evolution of Jackie-O Motherfucker began in Portland Oregon in 1994 when Tom Greenwood and Nester Bucket self produced their first lp (Alchemy...ed. 500), on the now defunct imp records imprint. the psychedelic, d.i.y. Aesthetic proved to be fertile ground as the now expanding group continued to record and issue their music (in micro-pressings) over the next five years. Touring the USA twice, in 1997 and 1998,( with residencies in New Orleans, Baltimore, and New York City), helped to disperse the hand-made lps to fans all over the U.S, and also brought them into contact with an expanding circle of musicians who would eventually join the inspired collective.

And we be trippin' over our current times. Check the deity out:

The Pope has been shot four times as he blessed the crowds in St Peter's Square in Rome. And man, when he died not too long ago, the world just flipped: VATICAN CITY (CNN) -- Pope John Paul II was remembered Saturday as a "champion of human freedom," a "tireless advocate of peace" and a man with a "wonderful sense of humor" who was easy to talk to.

And what about that Korean airliner? Shooting it down with civilians in it, man, that's a heavy thing, heavy. Well, Andy is really assimilating an accusation. Cold War Politics running amuck: The United States has accused the USSR of shooting down a civilian airliner which is missing off Russia's eastern coast. Andy read and swallowed the newspaper.

It's not clear what really went down. We'll take Andy's tale for now. The bracelet rules. It comes down to Teepee town and urine samples.

The paranoia of being tapped by the FBI has not withered. The hook up on the hip-hop scene:

Bush's dad had the FBI tap Chuck D's phone. Public Enemy are probably the greatest political band since the Clash.

Here's a link to a supposed 40+ list of famous people tapped by the FBI (gossip?) (link no longer working):

"Gossip Meets the G-Men in Vast FBI Files"

From the Associated Press:

Celebrities and criminals, rock stars and mob stars, athletes and artists - scores of high-profile Americans have their very own FBI file, a bold-faced universe rife with dirt and scandal. It's no surprise that gossip columnists such as Walter Winchell turn up as sources.

The files chronicle mass marketer Walt Disney and mass murderer Ted Bundy, comic genius Groucho Marx and cosmic genius Albert Einstein. There are reports of canoodling (although the FBI prefers "extramarital affairs"), heavy boozing, mob ties, drug use and the rest of the requisite dish.

The sheer volume became clear in response to a Freedom Of Information Act request by The Associated Press for every FBI "High Visibility Memorandum" filed between 1974 and 2005, allowing a lengthy traipse through the lives of celebrities from A (Louis Armstrong) to Kaye (Danny) to Z (Efrem Zimbalist). The AP's request produced more than 500 redacted memos totaling nearly 1,500 pages - a stack of documents six inches high.


Read the entire article here and be sure to click on the box that says "FBI Celebrity Files" to see FBI memos regarding 40 or so famous people.

So much for Gossip. Here's how it's supposed to go down:

The FBI has been a pioneer in the technique of criminal investigative analysis (sometimes called "profiling"), conducted by the staff of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. According to the division's Web site, criminal investigative analysis "is a process of reviewing crimes from both a behavioral and investigative perspective." Trained profilers look at the evidence and circumstances surrounding a crime or series of crimes and create a profile that describes various aspects of the suspect's personality. Gender, age, level of education, types of jobs and other elements can narrow investigations and help agents prioritize leads. Geographical profiling helps as well -- in this technique, profilers feed information about the locations of crimes into a computer, which creates an "area of interest" for investigators to focus on [ref]. Profilers require about a year of in-depth training, and an academic background in psychology or another social science is helpful. However, the most important trait of an FBI profiler is extensive experience working on investigations.